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Dealing with March Madness

By Caitlin Ascolese Spring is in the air, buds are starting to open, but a lot of guys just won’t notice. They’re rather preoccupied with a different rite of the season. Perhaps you can you relate to this scenario, from Sarah Roberts of Arlington, VA: “My guy takes three days off of work to watch the NCAA tournament. He goes to his favorite hangout at breakfast to stake out a table where he’ll plant himself for the next 72 hours.”

Maybe—hopefully—March with your guy isn’t that extreme, but if you’re dating a sports nut, it probably sounds at least a little familiar. Like preteen girls at a Clay Aiken concert, when it comes to the NCAA tournament, plenty of guys just lose their minds a bit.

Before you get annoyed, you should know it can actually be a good thing. “Don’t be alarmed by the face painting,” assures Daniel Wann, Ph.D., a sports psychologist at Murray State University and author of Sports Fans: The Psychology and Social Impact of Spectators. “Following sports actually provides a sense of community and belonging, and sports fans tend to be more psychologically healthy than men who aren’t.” Plus, adds Dr. Wann, studies show that men who are loyal to particular teams have a greater sense of trust.

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While that’s all well and good for your boyfriend’s mental health, it doesn’t make you any less bored. That’s why we asked experts and March Madness widows alike to share their strategies for having your own good time this championship season. Now that’s what we call teamwork!

Hoop Fiction… And Reality
Demonstrate your interest in basketball by combining it with your affection for comedy, drama, or romance—watch Coach Carter, Love & Basketball, Hoosiers, or White Men Can’t Jump. Or take a page from the lessons of New York City basketball widow, Shanta Smith. “I picked up a book called Last Shot, which is actually a mystery about the real-life scandals that affect the NCAA. I learned a ton.” You’ll soon find that the dramas off the court are much more fascinating than what’s going on game time. Melanie Lewis of Baltimore, MD, for one, has taken to reading player profiles online. Now she has plenty to add during long drives with her guy while the radio’s tuned to ESPN.

Make a Pity Penny
Whether it’s a hot new restaurant or a haute new boutique you and friends have been dying to try, now’s the time for a significant-other-sponsored excursion. “Take up a collection for the widows and orphans of NCAA basketball,” suggests Cameron Tuttle, author of The Bad Girl’s Guide to Getting Personal. “Most guys will gladly donate if it means getting you out of the house!” Another money-making strategy is to participate in his betting pool—your way. For example, Kim Glickman and a friend pick teams each year based on a different theme, like uniform colors or red vs. blue states, and they’ve won the last two years. “The guys think they’re such experts, and then we come along and win this way,” she gloats.

Pamper Yourself
Your man’s temporary distraction is the perfect opportunity to do something totally self-indulgent without his even noticing, much less complaining. “Normally, I can only go to Target for one thing, and I’m not allowed to browse,” says Victoria Brown of Naperville, IL. “But while he’s wrapped up in the games, I can disappear in there for hours!” As Gilda Carle, Ph.D., a relationship psychologist puts it, “ ‘Losing’ your man to sports for a while is actually a gift! You can do all that girlie-girl stuff uninterrupted and guilt-free.”

Sew What?
Lots of women use TV zombie time to finish projects of their own, like painting the bathroom or reading gossipy celeb magazines. You can also invite your crafty female friends by to bond over a totally different type of hoops—sewing ones. Tuttle recommends a complain-and-craft session. “Everyone sits and complains about their relationships, or lack thereof, while they work on a square of a quilt. At the end, whoever has the most sports-obsessed boyfriend gets the whole thing.” Score!

Remind Him How Hot You Are
Even if you have zero interest in college hoops, you don’t have to drop out of his life entirely. “My favorite part of March Madness is that my boyfriend totally zones out,” says Julianna van Harskamp from Lancaster, PA. “That means I ‘have’ to try tantalizing new outfits and tricks to get his attention. It’s the perfect excuse to experiment.” You might be pleasantly surprised to learn he’s happy to miss a game (or at least the first half).